Control Freaks???? I have NO idea what you're talking about.....hehehe.
I know without a shadow of a doubt we can't save anyone, let alone everyone. It's a personal journey and we, as long time members can only show how it works for us. It's up to the newbie to do the actions they need to in order to work THEIR program. But holy HELL it's sad.
I think the problem I'm having is that I'm used to a different type of meeting. When I got sober, I got sober in the north east, New Jersey to be exact. They didn't play. The old timers told me how it was and nobody patted my head and told me everything would be ok. I had it drilled into my head that...yes, you will in fact die. You have a disease. It is fatal. It's a disease of the thinking....blah, blah, blah. You've all heard it before. But they also showed me the tools I needed to LIVE. It was all about the steps for them so it translated to ME being all about the step.
During my 23 years in the program I've been to meetings all over the United States and in a few other countries. I understand that the "tones" of meetings are different in different regions. I guess I'm comfortable in the more in your face approach because that was the only thing that got through to my crazy brain when I first got sober. When I first moved to Alabama, I realized that it was way different here. I kinda distanced myself from most service work because I really had a problem with the whole god approach down here. I've been around the meetings down here for a couple of years and I have not gotten involved like I normally would. Still working my program. Still an AA Nazi (excuse the term, it's what people call me) But I can't seem to be involved in this area because it allows me to form resentments and that will kill my ass!!!
Yes, the "gasp" heard round the rooms. I always speak about my truth when the topic is a higher power or how it works for you. LOL!!! It's kinda funny the looks I get from the ones who think GOD IS KING!!! But holy cow. Isn't sharing all about talking about what works for you???
And the group concious meetings are mostly about what color to paint the trim at Common Ground and should we get one or two more trash cans. I don't want to create friction where it would do no good other than making me feel better. Cause really, it isn't all about me. DAMMIT!!!
I think I just needed to get this off my chest and the meetings where NOT the place for this particular spleen vent! Others see it but, over the years i've been here, they've kinda pulled away from the meetings because it wasn't feeling right for them either.
I do know that this is my issue and I need to put up or shut up, but.......hehehe.......Bitching about it helps too. And I do feel SO much better after getting it of my chest.
I just have to remember....."It's not all about me," and I'll be good to go.
Take care,
julie