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lusciouskiwi · 09-22-2012, 08:15 PM

I really wish I could offer some coping techniques. I know exactly what you're talking about - the whole kit and caboodle - but I haven't lived at home (New Zealand) since 2000 (except for a period of about 4 months).

I always find it a bit stressful going home because it's usually rush there and then rush back. But I always love the familiarity of tress, accent, food, culture but then I look around and say "hey, what happened to such and such building?" "Oh it was pulled down ages ago". I find that hard. Everything changes but when we're living overseas for such a long time I think the memories/photos we have in our head don't have change going on ... I know you know what I mean

One of the things I like about being home is that nobody looks at me - in Asia it's pretty obvious that I'm a foreigner. When I lived in California, of course I didn't stand out, but as soon as I spoke "Oh, you're British!" "Oh, you're Australian!" "Are you from the Netherlands?" Or the way every other word seemed to be "bitch"

and boobs blown up out of proportion and the whiter-than-white teeth (you should have seen my face the first time I saw a woman with an obvious breast enlargement! look of shock). So I was invisible as a New Zealander in the States.

And actually, even though it's obvious that I'm a foreigner in Asia, in a way I'm still invisible. The joys of being white I suppose. But part of my identity is pakeha - a Maori word to mean non-Maori - I can't use it out of NZ and I found that really hard because as someone who's white, what else do I have to uniquely identify myself?

Anyway, sorry, you're talking about reverse culture shock.

I think quite possibly what's most important is to make sure you have good dialogues going with your mates in Canada before you get there. I have some darling friends in NZ that I love to pieces but haven't been in touch with them for ages. It scares me that maybe their lives have moved on so much that we won't be able to reconnect. That would break my heart.

Maybe you could think of yourself as an immigrant to Canada?

I hope others can contribute - it'll be an interesting conversation!

And why Melbourne? Always wanted to go there but haven't managed it yet.

09-22-2012, 08:15 PM	#4
lusciouskiwi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme lesbian feminist Preferred Pronoun?: Anything except for "aunty" Relationship Status: Happy with my butch. Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Aotearoa New Zealand Posts: 2,681 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 25,494 Thanked 9,096 Times in 1,899 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I really wish I could offer some coping techniques. I know exactly what you're talking about - the whole kit and caboodle - but I haven't lived at home (New Zealand) since 2000 (except for a period of about 4 months). I always find it a bit stressful going home because it's usually rush there and then rush back. But I always love the familiarity of tress, accent, food, culture but then I look around and say "hey, what happened to such and such building?" "Oh it was pulled down ages ago". I find that hard. Everything changes but when we're living overseas for such a long time I think the memories/photos we have in our head don't have change going on ... I know you know what I mean One of the things I like about being home is that nobody looks at me - in Asia it's pretty obvious that I'm a foreigner. When I lived in California, of course I didn't stand out, but as soon as I spoke "Oh, you're British!" "Oh, you're Australian!" "Are you from the Netherlands?" Or the way every other word seemed to be "bitch" and boobs blown up out of proportion and the whiter-than-white teeth (you should have seen my face the first time I saw a woman with an obvious breast enlargement! look of shock). So I was invisible as a New Zealander in the States. And actually, even though it's obvious that I'm a foreigner in Asia, in a way I'm still invisible. The joys of being white I suppose. But part of my identity is pakeha - a Maori word to mean non-Maori - I can't use it out of NZ and I found that really hard because as someone who's white, what else do I have to uniquely identify myself? Anyway, sorry, you're talking about reverse culture shock. I think quite possibly what's most important is to make sure you have good dialogues going with your mates in Canada before you get there. I have some darling friends in NZ that I love to pieces but haven't been in touch with them for ages. It scares me that maybe their lives have moved on so much that we won't be able to reconnect. That would break my heart. Maybe you could think of yourself as an immigrant to Canada? I hope others can contribute - it'll be an interesting conversation! And why Melbourne? Always wanted to go there but haven't managed it yet. __________________ happiness is a form of courage. George Holbrook Jackson Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth. Katherine Mansfield Motivate yourself or be miserable. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. Wayne Dyer