[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Kelt

Maybe a good starting point would be to find out more about your own sexuality, what your own needs and desires truly are. Then it would be easier to figure out what your ideal match would be.

I agree completely with this statement.

I am clearly not butch so I hope it is OK to post here but I think this is an important statement.

I don't think Kelt is talking about labels at all. When we first come out, we may be vaguely aware of who, what and when, we may be attracted to; especially when we are young.

It takes time with reading as well as dating, to hone into what our our true sexual attraction and desires may be.

I find that I am still learning about what mine are and I have been out for some 30+ years.

It is a process and can't be rushed. It just has to happen organically.

I don't think labels have a bit to do with desire. They just make it easier to find those that share our deepest, darkest desires and needs. They may also change over time. What I wanted and needed at age 25 is quite different than my wants and needs of today.