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Im not interested in all of your exes......at this stage in the game we would both be single and even though your exes are a big part of who you are there is no need to talk about them constantly.
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ah see... this is such a variable with people! I love talking about relationships. and love hearing about them. One ex and I *met* because we had both just been left by our wives. We spent a good 50% of our time together discussing what was going on with our exes and us, how we were coping, what we thought had gone wrong, omg they are driving me crazy, or actually I miss them (I am actually pretty empathetic about that), would we ever get married again, what about the kid (her step daughter)... and it was brilliant. we both needed it.
Then both of us needed some time on our own... during which she got involved with someone else. We then returned to our friendship and found out the feelings we had for each other were still there and pretty big. I think because what we had done/built was based on friendship and support and wasn't about anything else but that... and there chemistry was still there. We talked about what to do after trying to ignore that for a while - should we get back together? She had feelings for both of us but the girl she is with just gave her a greater sense of stability, which she really needs. I was broken hearted but because I know her quite well, understand her needs, respect them and actually love her as a person/friend, I "got" it. She really does need a lot of stability, and no, I couldn't give her that level of it, unfortunately. And I think her lovely gf probably has more patience than I do. I adore her gf too.
Throughout everything we've been exceptional friends. Even when fighting she'll text me every day to see how I am. She's never lied to me. She's never abandoned me.
This is a big lesson for me. It's taught me that actually... if people are sorting things out? It's ok. And because she and I talk every single day, she's almost like a weird kind of brother to me, I love her to bits, I do talk about her a lot. Just like I talk about Eve, my flatmate and very close friend, a lot because they are in my daily life - they are my family on this continent, 5000 miles from home. And I love them both. And whomever is interested in me is going to hear a lot about them.
So I prefer for people to tell me their stories about their relationships and things in depth. I love hearing their take on how it went, what happened and how they feel about it now. I'm an
Extrovert with a big "E" and therefore I need to vocalise my inner thoughts and bounce them off other people in order to process them properly. If things stay in my head they rot. So I equally love people who tell me *everything* and the why what where when about it. And invite me to have a conversation with them about it. Like I do with mine. Circle things, draw lines under others, arrows, stars and notations. Fabulous.
As for flowers... hand picked. wild flowers. But really, not early in the friendship when we are just hangin out. Maybe if you know I'm feelin like crap that day (exhausted, down, crabby) and you swing past to ask if you can get me anything, bring me some hand picked flowers from the roadside, I'd love that.
I dunno, dates. I went on them with my wife even after being married but I don't really want to "date" anymore. If that makes any sense. I just want to hang out as friends and if there's a ton of chemistry, we'll take it from there.
I think I just can't deal with the frame of mind of dating anymore. I just want to do things I'd do with my friends. I want an important friendship that goes somewhere with good chemistry. The thought of going on a "date" just makes me feel exhausted.