I had a colonoscopy about two months after I turned 50.
My insurance company offered a little bribe and
I'd heard that my ex had colon cancer.
Different doctors recommend different ways to clean out your kishkes.
I had to stop eating at a certain time and
My doctor prescribed laxative pills and
I had to drink gallons of the saltiest soda you can imagine.
Pete was upstairs, but
I watched Tipping the Velvet and dozed off and on all night.
Your intestines must be cleaned out so the doctor can see every corner.
If you don't get your guts squeaky clean,
You will have to drink the salty soda again.
I didn't feel much of what happened during the colonoscopy, because
I was given a nice tranquilizer but
There is one moment when the scope is turning a corner, and
It hurt like hell.
Afterwards I asked Pete to take me out for breakfast and
I fell asleep in the car on the way home.
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