Quote:
Originally Posted by pynkkameleon
*bumping* this thread so that it doesn't get covered with cobwebs and missed by anyone who might benefit from reading and/or participating within this topic. I think it has a lot of value and importance.
I know that I certainly have learned a lot.
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Thank you for bumping this! It's exactly what I presumed was here somewhere but hadn't yet looked for and found.
To be honest, I was always unsure of what people meant when they said "stone butch" and even more confused by "stone femme." But I find myself relating to the different descriptions very well.
Part of who I am as a femme is that I respond very strongly to a very masculine sexual energy -- just not in a biological man's body.
Part of my journey as a femme was coming to terms that when I'm sexual with someone, I'm sexual with that person's masculinity -- even if that person is herself not thinking of her body or sexuality as masculine (though I honestly prefer if he does). And I want my lovers to deeply desire that feminine counterpart from me. It has nothing to do with my lover's gender identity: I've had 100% woman-identified lovers who still had a very masculine sexuality. For example, a certain body part might be her clitoris 98% of the time to her, but when she's in bed, she thinks of it completely as her cock, and not just as a term she used as a turn-on in bed, but because that's where her head is. ::ahem::
Am I making any sense?
And to have someone talk about what I'm doing in a feminine/female way is a real turnoff to me. I do not "eat pussy" and to ask me to do so would stop me col - but I have sucked butch cock. I do not ever "fuck" someone else - but I have given some internal pressure that he enjoyed. I do not enjoy being fucked by a dildo - but I do enjoy that same action from another version of butch cock. I do not fondle breasts - but nipple stimulation is enjoyed very much by both men and women. it's not just language: It's MY head space that I need to be in, and the head space I prefer my lover to be in.
There are few boundaries that I have solely because a certain action or body part is (to me) feminizing, as long as it's something that still allows me to maintain a feminine sexual energy that's balancing with a masculine energy. But I also have zero problems respecting my lover's boundaries - but to me that has nothing at all to do with stone or not stone, to me that's what everyone should do for any lover. Some people just don't LIKE certain things, to the point of it being a real turn-off to even imply that they might occur, period. And if I can't respect my lover's boundaries, then I have no business being sexual with that person. So for me, a butch having boundaries or desires that are based on his needs and his body, including needing me to never do certain things that are feminizing to him, even if that means never touching him directly sexually, is NEVER a problem.
Sorry to ramble. I guess what I'm saying is, I realize now (like, past hour "now") that I could be considered a stone femme, using the definition that pertains to relating to my lover only in terms of masculine sexual energy.