Today I heard an old song that really got me thinking about mistakes I've made. It goes:
Ooh! Baby! You lift me up when I'm down!
Oooh! Baby! You're going to turn my life around!
Certainly, falling in love is a giant pick-me-up. So is falling in love with someone who encourages you to better yourself, to reach your goals. I personally want a partner who makes me want to do just that (not in a nagging way, or even verbally...hard to explain).
I think where I've made this mistake is looking for someone to solve it all, to make the problems go away, yippee! my life is perfect kind of saviour/partner. No one can do that. Only you can ultimately fix your career/family/whatever, or change your attitude.
But the idea of someone swooping in and rescuing their partner is all over the place in popular music, in movies, definitely in books (looking at you, Twilight). We have to be our own heroes
.