Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Important things I learned from past relationships

Kätzchen · 10-10-2012, 01:14 PM

I've had very few romantic relationships over my lifetime; but I know by heart that some of the most successful relationships I know of here at home are couples who grew up together, lived near one another, and that they spent considerable time together - before they even thought of living together or tying the knot.

I penned a poem here yesterday based on the legal term "Stare Decisis" - only to find that Semantics used this term too, in noting precedents set early on in the formation period of relationship building. I totally reiterate and share the same sentiment shared by Semantics!

Also, I share the same sentiment expressed by HoneyBarbara: She mentioned the idea of the radius in miles; I believe she said that she felt that there were plenty of potentials held within the 100 mi/radius. I agree with her too, except for me, my radius/mile is more around 250-300 mile/radius. I live in a metro area and I've lived here for over 20 years now. I doubt I would move (if ever), but I could; I just don't know that would ever happen again for me.

These are the things I have internalized over the years:

- Pay Attention: to every single detail about yourself and the person you are attracted to. Be present. Don't ignore things that set off flags on particulars that cause you to take notice of something that either makes you feel good or makes you feel weird or makes you feel very uncomfortable. This is your inner self that is speaking to things that can become deal breakers, later on down the road. Talk about them frankly with the person you have loving feelings for and be highly cognizant of their perspective, the rationale offered for things brought up between the two of you.

-Proximity of location: I won't date or go out on a date or become romantically involved with anyone unless they live in a reasonable proximity of location to me. Meaning, if you live within 250-300 mile/radius of me and we are attracted to each other, chances are that I will be more inclined to get to know you and want to go on a play date with you (play date = hanging out together doing something fun and relaxing; not a formal date, like going out to dinner with friends or a date that includes meeting family, etc). I won't let my heart off the leash if you don't live near me. I do not and will not do the internet date or build a relationship from an internet connection. I just won't do that or go there. The way I see it, the last person who will become a part of my life will live near me and not far away.

- Be Real: I am myself at all times; I am real. I mean what I say and I do what I say and even though I trend more toward the abstract way of thinking, my life mirrors exactly who I am. If something bothers me, you bet I'm going to bring it to our attention because if I like you and have loving feelings for you and I want to be in your life and you in mine, then we have to be able to talk about anything - the good, the bad, and the fucking down right ugly because life is no bed of roses. I won't be the kiind of person who keeps items of interest quietly in some corner to fester into an explosion. I'm not that kind of a woman/person. I have my own reputation at stake, all the time. I have earned every single piece of my life thus far and will own it to the end. I take my responsibilities and duties in life seriously. That's not to say I don't have a sense of humor or a playful spirit about me because I am playful and I do have a wicked sense of humor. How else does one make it this far and not have that precious ocean of life skills?

So there you have it: I'm here for the sense of community. I will only consider a romantic relationship if you and I live within my set paramater of 250-300 mile/radius. I pay attention to every single detail. I hope you do too. And, I am real. *Stare Decisis*

10-10-2012, 01:14 PM	#146
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Relationship Status: Attached to my granddaughter & chosen friends and family.. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Enjoying life @ home ツ Posts: 16,116 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,633 Thanked 33,545 Times in 10,663 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	I've had very few romantic relationships over my lifetime; but I know by heart that some of the most successful relationships I know of here at home are couples who grew up together, lived near one another, and that they spent considerable time together - before they even thought of living together or tying the knot. I penned a poem here yesterday based on the legal term "Stare Decisis" - only to find that Semantics used this term too, in noting precedents set early on in the formation period of relationship building. I totally reiterate and share the same sentiment shared by Semantics! Also, I share the same sentiment expressed by HoneyBarbara: She mentioned the idea of the radius in miles; I believe she said that she felt that there were plenty of potentials held within the 100 mi/radius. I agree with her too, except for me, my radius/mile is more around 250-300 mile/radius. I live in a metro area and I've lived here for over 20 years now. I doubt I would move (if ever), but I could; I just don't know that would ever happen again for me. These are the things I have internalized over the years: - Pay Attention: to every single detail about yourself and the person you are attracted to. Be present. Don't ignore things that set off flags on particulars that cause you to take notice of something that either makes you feel good or makes you feel weird or makes you feel very uncomfortable. This is your inner self that is speaking to things that can become deal breakers, later on down the road. Talk about them frankly with the person you have loving feelings for and be highly cognizant of their perspective, the rationale offered for things brought up between the two of you. -Proximity of location: I won't date or go out on a date or become romantically involved with anyone unless they live in a reasonable proximity of location to me. Meaning, if you live within 250-300 mile/radius of me and we are attracted to each other, chances are that I will be more inclined to get to know you and want to go on a play date with you (play date = hanging out together doing something fun and relaxing; not a formal date, like going out to dinner with friends or a date that includes meeting family, etc). I won't let my heart off the leash if you don't live near me. I do not and will not do the internet date or build a relationship from an internet connection. I just won't do that or go there. The way I see it, the last person who will become a part of my life will live near me and not far away. - Be Real: I am myself at all times; I am real. I mean what I say and I do what I say and even though I trend more toward the abstract way of thinking, my life mirrors exactly who I am. If something bothers me, you bet I'm going to bring it to our attention because if I like you and have loving feelings for you and I want to be in your life and you in mine, then we have to be able to talk about anything - the good, the bad, and the fucking down right ugly because life is no bed of roses. I won't be the kiind of person who keeps items of interest quietly in some corner to fester into an explosion. I'm not that kind of a woman/person. I have my own reputation at stake, all the time. I have earned every single piece of my life thus far and will own it to the end. I take my responsibilities and duties in life seriously. That's not to say I don't have a sense of humor or a playful spirit about me because I am playful and I do have a wicked sense of humor. How else does one make it this far and not have that precious ocean of life skills? So there you have it: I'm here for the sense of community. I will only consider a romantic relationship if you and I live within my set paramater of 250-300 mile/radius. I pay attention to every single detail. I hope you do too. And, I am real. Stare Decisis __________________ “When you change, don’t announce it: Just bloom.” — wordsofawisemind.