[laruss]

I think this is an important day in that we are still fighting for rights to be equal. In Canada it is less of a problem then the States and in the States much less of a problem then a lot of parts of the world. But until we have equal rights we have to have days like this to remind people that we are equal and that we are always fighting for that equality.

I grew up in a gay home, my mother had her first female partner in 1979, and she died in 2004, she never came out. She never felt safe to do so. She worked in the non-profit sector and her last job was with Catholic Social Services, I often asked her why she would work for people who she couldn't be herself with and she couldn't be honest about her life partner to. She said it didn't matter because her friends and family knew. But her mother never acknowledged it, her partners mother still to this day won't acknowledge it. Her partners family won't acknowledge their own daughter is gay and my mother was never invited for Christmas as she was only the "roommate". After about 10 years my mother put her foot down and she started doing Christmas and inviting her partners parents. They came but it was always so phoney.

Back in the 80' during jr high and high school it was not acceptable, and to be a child of gay parents meant being very isolated and not being able to have friends home or talk about your home life. I left home at 14 my brother at 16, it was just easier then pretending.

When my brother came out at 18 he was actually afraid to tell us (like we didn't already know). I think mostly because of the shame and hiding we had grown up with.

I didn't officially "come out" until more recently although I have always been with women. But my visible long term relationships were with men. I kept relationships with women hidden for the most part. I had grown up with the shame of being gay and so you didn't let people know. I think so much so that I didn't even admit it to myself until more recently.

I have had 4 different people this summer that didn't know who to talk to, where to meet people, how their friends and family would react. They or a friend of theirs contacted me to help. Coming out is difficult at any age, and no matter what gender or where you live.

I am a strong advocate of gay rights/equal rights and I now won't hide from anyone. Until we have equality, days like today are very important.