Thanks for posting your question. I feel ya, girl!
I think the biggest best advice I would give right up front is to step back away from thinking about "a connection" and just think about a friendship first. The best ones to end up hooking up with in a "connection" are friends, people who we share common interests with, etc. By thinking entirely of the possible friendship first, it takes a lot of the pressure off (am I saying this right, am I dressing the right way, will she like me, will we end up moving to Hawaii and live happily ever after...oh, scratch that last part, that was just me! LOL)
Of my last several partners, I met two online, one a blind date sort of thing, and one meeting her in person in a group I was involved with. With the one I met in person, we all kinda hung out together, and she and I slowly got to know each other, and it went from there. With my current (and last!) gf, I met her on a singles website, and both of us were really only looking for friendship, like someone to go to a movie with occasionally, or out to dinner. It just blossomed wonderfully on its own, and now we are engaged. Yeaaah!
And don't let your age hold you back, either. There are lots of wonderful women out there. My partner found me, and I am pretty damned special!
(she is too!) I am 60, and she is 48.
Good luck!
(and oh yeah, a butch woman in a uniform... gets me every time!)
APG