[*Anya*]

I feel I must say this:

The title of this thread is Loving a Transman isn't Easy, in the femme zone.

What I read in Soon's original post was that this subject was very difficult for her because she had been in love with a female-bodied butch. She loved her butch and her female-born body.

The unsaid was clearly that her butch transitioned and that it was very hard for her, so hard she really could not talk about it.

Soon was only referring to herself. Self-Made Man and DMV's posts were supportive and appeared to "hear" where Soon was coming from.

I saw a very good documentary on Netflix a couple of years ago, about transmen. One of the segments explored a lesbian couple and how it was for them when the butch came to terms with being trans and went on T and how it was for the partner who went through her feelings of loss and sadness. It gave me some real empathy for the femme's perspective and experience.