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Originally Posted by SelfMadeMan
I absolutely do NOT feel that transmen belong in women's only spaces. Period. You don't get to hang onto your old cards and play them when it's convenient. If a space is designated women only, and you ID as male, you do not need to be there.
And it's easy to show respect to women who want their own space. Stay out of it unless invited in.
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SelfMadeMan, I completely agree with this sentiment and appreciate that
you posted this so well. If one woman is uncomfortable...then...i am uncomfortable.
The brass tax: It Just comes down to common courtesy and respect. Period.
Don't say one thing and do the other. That is total disrespect.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SelfMadeMan
I totally get what you're saying, Stacy and I have been through that too! It comes up all the time in different ways for me. I'm a Sociology/Women & Gender Studies major, and last year, was asked to join a feminist honor society called W.I.L.L. (Women's Initiative for Leadership Learning), and I initially declined. I told the professor who invited me, that I felt my presence would be problematic and that I was honored but would never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or resent my presence in that space. About a week later, she emailed me and told me that she had met with the society, and that they voted unanimously to invite me in. Not only that, they voted to change the name to Wo/Men's Initiative for Leadership Learning. I was floored. So I joined, with the understanding that if my presence were ever an issue for an incoming member, I would want to bow out, and not take a space away from a woman who wanted to be in the society. It's gone great though, and I LOVE working in and around feminism!
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I think that this is a different situation. It is dependent on the people involved within that space and time. I would feel the same way...and most likely feel it necessary to approach each new female member or have some introductory announcement...that in someway stated, "if any woman has issue with the presence of men in these meetings...come to the director and it will be addressed...etc. So, that the woman would know that her identity would remain anonymous...etc. Kind of a sticky position to put her in though...
So, i, myself would struggle with this. Interesting. Ironic cause i was in a long term relationship with a femme in women's studies. It was awesome to
listen to her and learn from her.
Obviously, they wanted to include you cause they know you well. And that is awesome.
The feelings of loss have happened to me and to the partner i was with during my transition. And i am sure that my partner post transition went through her own evolution, adjustment...etc. However, the loss is probably, not much different from any other person's evolution, really.
It would be much to type and think about. And i have bigger priorities today to attend to.
Personally, regarding my transition, i have gained much more than i have lost.
Great post. Thanks.
Julieisafemme....i appreciate your post and am glad that you are sharing.
You all have a good day.