[Liam]

Originally Posted by violaine

sent from a friend:


".. There are just relationships between two people -- two complex people -- and in some cases, some of these people have Asperger's. If a relationship fails between an AT and a NT, there are too many factors to say for sure that the cause was Aspergers. Of course, if Aspergers (or ADD or whatever is present), it's easy to point to that and claim (and really feel like) that's the cause. But you can't know that.

In any relationship, both people have their problems. I'm sure that, even as an NT, you're not 100% easy to live with. Relationships work because both people are willing to work on, work through, solve, live with or overlook problems. An Aspie is no different. Aspies may have to work harder at certain things, but they can do the work if they choose to. So once again, it's not about Aspergers, it's about the individual.

So the real question is, can you and your boyfriend/girlfriend -- two PEOPLE -- make it work? No one here can answer that for you. But even if you can't work it out, that says nothing about whether you could have a happy relationship with some other Aspie. It just says you can't have a happy relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend..."

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I think about this often. I've worked very hard on my communication skills, and I have done a great deal of personal work, yet the happy/healthy partnership eludes me. My close aspie friends bring much joy into my life, and I appreciate them ever so much. There are times when I think that is the group women that I need to be looking at for a partner.