Okay this sounds corny, but treat people as you'd like to be treated. So if you'd like to hear it's not a happening thing sooner rather than later, then chances are so would they.
If you wind up going out a little longer than you should have (not always obvious right away), then cut your loses and say goodbye. The longer you linger, or do not tell them it's not happening for you, the longer you're not out there finding the one that is for you.
Chemistry--I don't think chemistry is necessarily there or not right away. I think attraction is or is not there. That is not to say we should act on attraction UNLESS both parties get, that's what they're doing.
Lesbians are horrid at dating---they don't know that the word means 'trying each other on for size'. That said, you may be dating others, and that does not mean you have to choose unless one of those you're dating doesn't understand that dating is not a monogamous venture. I may be making choices in my head but I don't necessarily share them out with those that I am dating.
I say this and not just because I am a person pursuing those interested in polyamorous relationships but rather because it's a part of the U-Haul mentality--SOME can feel you don't really care unless it's exclusive dating, next thing you know, blam you're moving in and you didn't mean to be. Phrases like, 'I couldn't stand it if someone else shared your bed', or 'you'll need to make a choice before this relationship can move forward' are manipulative and people may not even know that's what they're doing---but innocent manipulation is nonetheless, that.
If one of you doesn't make the move--i.e., let's kiss, hold hands, have sex, go our separate ways--then you might as well be best high school girlfriends making cookies on a Friday night. If you're not the aggressor, but you're wishing someone would make a move, then tag, it's probably you that should be 'it'.
Rope--
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