[*Anya*]

It really depends. I don't think there is a hard or fast rule.

My first girlfriend and I parted friends, lost touch for a long time and recently re-connected. It was just as though no time had passed.

My 19-year ex and I, no way. Over a year ago, she came to me with a big story about a recurrence of a prior brain tumor, with a week to live.

Previous brain tumor= true. Recurrence with a week to live=not true. After running around, sucked in, helping get her affairs in order and then finding out it was a manipulation-the total end for me. Never again.

A couple of months ago she came to my door, uninvited, to tell me she had breast cancer. I told her I could not help her- if it were true but how could I believe her? I sent her away and still hope I did the right thing but she had lied once too many times to me.

Another ex and I kind of drifted apart and each of us started dating other people. We really are not right for each other but genuinely like each other. We still text and talk on the phone almost every day. She asks me femme questions and I ask her butch ones! She tells me about her dates and I tell her about mine.

I think that we might always be friends.

The one rule about relationships is: there are no rules!