[Greyson]

I came back to this thread because the death of the nurse that killed herself has been deemed a suicide by law enforcement in London. This has been on my mind quite a bit and the why did she do it. What made her snap, give up?

Here is what has been spinning through my thoughts. First, when I heard her name before seeing any photos it was clear to me that most likely she was a WOC. Perhaps an immigrant, maybe not but most likely her racial, ethnic, profile would not fit the traditional profile of an English subject, citizen.

Then I read that she was a well respected and liked coworker at the hospital. Her work ethic, impeccable. Again, in my thoughts, yes a WOC and most likely the bar set for her was higher than that of her white counterparts. If not by the greater culture at large, then by her own family and herself, internalized ism.

Why would such an obvious achiever, intelligent professional woman and a mom feel such shame, failure to kill herself over being duped into a prank?

I am not a psychologist or a doctor of any sort but I am willing to bet this woman spent a great deal of energy in her life proving she was worthy, smart enough, "normal" enough, good citizen enough, good wife, mother and daughter enough to make any family proud. Spent her energy proving she was just as good as her white counterparts. To be duped by these DJs and gullible enough to believe that this accented female voice at the other end of the line was the Queen, well it was just too much for her.

These are my thoughts, not based on science, based on my reality of growing up not white and poor in a world that says "First, you must be white, then educated, and with means." If you are not, you are out. If you do aspire to make it into the "club" then the standard will be set much higher for your kind.

I am rambling a bit, but really I was not surprised it was a WOC and killed herself. May she rest in peace. My condolances to her family.