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Old 12-09-2012, 08:06 AM   #2724
Ciaran
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Altocalciphilic
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Papa Smurf
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Curmudgeonous spinster
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: London (but from Belfast)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by always2late View Post
Ciaran,

I've a massive (did I say massive? It is actually gargantuan in proportion...godzilla-like, if you will) crush on you despite your rudeness, your dismissive hand gestures (if you combine the rudeness AND the hand gestures I might possibly swoon!), and your arrogance . In fact my crush on you is so big that I won't mind too much if you wear higher heels, and nicer heels, than I do (in fact, I have some VERY high heeled boots that I am sure will look absolutely smashing on you). I also promise not to get jealous if you snog Kermit the Frog when I'm not looking (I'll even get the two of you a no-tell motel room for your birthday).

As a sign of my crush, I'm willing to FedEx some lasagna, lovingly homemade by my own hands (I'm of Italian heritage and my lasagna kicks ass...if I do say so myself. And, as a bonus, I will airmail some meatballs), to you in London, together with references (typed in triplicate on parmesan cheese scented paper) attesting to my domestic abilities (yes, I do windows) and we can take it from there.*

*'tis the season...and I think in the spirit of giving everyone should have the kind of crush they want made to order....just call me Santa!

Wow. This is the sort of message I've always dreamed of seeing here. In fact, I don't think I could have written it better myself


I was so relieved to hear you talk of your Italian heritage. One of the greatest fears in my life is that I start to fall in love with a woman who, once she has my heart, reveals that she is French or, even worse, a Boston Red Sox fan.


Subject to the lasagna being of a sufficiently high standard and the references checking out okay, I think I could have a crush on you too. Clearly too early to talk about life-long commitments or marriage yet - well, until my mum gives you her approval.

However, just out of interest, is it possible to drive a U-Haul over the Atlantic Ocean to London?




Skipping away to update my facebook status from "Single" to "It's complicated" .....




ps - any chance of fedex-ing over those high heel boots alongside the lasagna?
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