[Kobi]

[I'm curious. If someone comes up to me and starts yelling at me that I'm a ni--er or calling me some homophobic slur or telling me that I'm hell-bound what am I supposed to compromise on? What side am I supposed to be seeing? I hear this a lot from people (usually white people--sorry but there it is) that I should "see all sides" or "focus on what we have in common". I'm equally curious why *I* should have to compromise. Why is it incumbent on the *targets* of bigotry to do the compromising, to see all sides, including the side of those that hate? I rarely see anyone asserting that it's the bigots who should see all sides or compromise. In that situation--which isn't about policy it's about personhood--what am I supposed to be compromising *on* exactly? What side am I supposed to be seeing? What is it that I'm supposed to understand there? ]

Dread,

I hear what you are saying. And I agree, taking the higher road can be a pain in the hiney.

I am also not Black so I dont know what it is like to have the n word hurled at me. I do know that many Black folks have accomplished, developed, designed, and done a lot of great things for this country. And they have endured and overcome a lot of hardship and obstacles to do so. That, to me, is a triumph of spirit, determination, and belief in self. It is something to be very proud of.

I am gay tho and if someone had the audacity to come up to me and tell me I was going to hell....I would try and remember the song....let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me. I refuse to make someone elses views define me, nor will I be provoked to defend something that to me doesnt need to be defended. My concern is the person I am and who I want to be, not the person who might be harassing me. But, thats just my way of being in the world.

Trust me, sometimes I struggle with a desire to just haul off and slug an idiot. But thats just not who I am or who I want to be.