Quote:
Originally Posted by Dean Thoreau
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enuf with having to be the wiser, kinder, gentler soul...dont show you are a bigger person by not responding or responding with kindness,,,,
i at long last agree with my daughters and say dont be a doormat
slap the crap out of them!
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When I was a wee young baby dyke, my friend and mentor, Bubba a self-described 'leftist, gay, redneck' who is the most wonderful bear you ever want to meet, bought a gun. He did so because he was hobbling around with one foot in a big brace, with one eye ready to crash if he took a blow to the head, and a T-cell count that was headed in the wrong direction. He was out, as much as his health would allow, doing Narcotics Anonymous and work with HIV/AIDS information. He said he needed a gun to protect himself. I couldn't agree with him at the time. We argued about it. At the time, Bubba had been out for twenty years having come out, in North Caroline no less, in 1973 while a student at UNC Asheville. He'd grown tired of having to take it and wasn't going to live out whatever time he had left in fear of some homophobe come up from San Jose or down from Fresno for a weekend's 'hunting' as some young men were wont to do during the early 90's.
Now, 17 years later and I have just entered my third decade out of the closet, I have a great deal more sympathy for where he was and I have to admit, I was wrong then. I thought I knew what I was talking about at the time, I didn't.
No, I haven't bought a gun (yet) and most likely wouldn't carry if (when) I did but simply for home defense.
I'm not arguing nor would I, in any ordinary circumstances, argue in favor of getting in people's faces and matching blow for blow. If there's a way *to* walk away, I think one *should* walk away. That said, I also believe that I do not owe the bigots the favor of being walked upon. I do not think I have to understand their bigotry, I think I have to accept that there will always be bigots and that we should order society in such a way that we minimize the effects of bigotry--including our own. I hope I hold no foolish prejudices and that I am always mindful of the old Pogo cartoon "we have met the enemy and he is us". But should I have prejudices or bigotry I hold, I do not want my problem to become someone else's problem.
Your daughter's reactions rock!
Cheers
Aj