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Old 12-15-2012, 09:17 AM   #133
Ms. Meander
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How Do You Identify?:
Queer Femme
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Ethical Nonmonogamist
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sachita View Post
she sounds like a busy girl! Congrats on the experience tho. I wonder if she would be available if you needed her?

My own personal description of poly would be within a bdsm structure. I know that most poly relationships have rules about outside play partners. In my house there would be none of that. I would need to completely control all of that.

I think poly makes sense if you can make it work. Honestly I;ve only seen a few cases where it did and in all it was within a BDSM house. Then again I admit that I'm not entirely in the know. But I'd like to know others and explore this as an option. In my dreams I dream of having one femme and one boi. I think it would be perfect for me. I too need a lot of space and a lone time which makes a slave feel insecure at times.

She is busy. Truth. But that works for me right now. At the moment I'm taking my time in this evolution and don't need more than "dating". I even hesitate to use the word "polyamorous" because it actually refers to a specific style of nonmonagamy but we tend to lump all others under that heading. (I've been reading the book Opening Up: A guide to creating and sustaining open relationships. It outlines several different styles including but not limited to - partnered nonmonogamy, swinging, polyamory, solo polyamory, polyfidelity, and mono/poly combos). I don't really know yet exactly where I'll land and I'm all about exploring openly. And in the meantime, or really as a part of that, I'm still requiring intimacy.

There is also a BDSM component to all of this for me. The person I'm dating certainly has that going on and I am appreciating learning about how that all works for her. Mostly, I am hooked on the openness and honesty that she is displaying. It is so refreshing. My own self in relation to BDSM is something that is evolving too. Historically I have been strictly submissive and have even engaged in a couple of full-time D/s relationships. However I feel something shifting for me there. I'm still a sub but feel something new coming to the surface. Like I'm part girl and part Mama - both equally valid. Not entirely sure what to do with that yet. Perhaps I should take that to the BDSM exploration thread where I've been lurking a bit lately anyway.

So. I am an ever-evolving work in progress who wants it all while I figure it out. Is that so much to ask? I know it's a lot but I really think it's possible. Perhaps my Pollyanna is showing?
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