[Write14u]

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

Thanks for your response. So, you haven't actually confirmed the fact that you are gay/queer to your family?

I ask b/c with my mother--I had to SPELL IT OUT FOR HER (she's hardcore RC). She didn't get it when I said Mich sleeps with me; she thought I meant sleepovers. I said, no, we are lovers. So, I had to COME OUT that way. (ten years ago, approx)

So, you haven't actually said the words? It was so hard for me; I thought she knew based on my closeness with Mich, but she SWEARS she thought it was all gf/gf (platonic friendship) stuff!

How do they know if you don't tell? B/c, lord knows, I had to TELL in order for her to GET IT!)

I actually had to say, no, I am with her--she is my girlfriend--we sleep together--we are TOGETHER.

Well, then, that is another story!

P.S. On another note, is being queer and out only contingent on if you are with someone (for me it was--b/c I had only been in straight relationships with cisguys) ?

Well, my mom said to me one time that I'd have more money if I didn't spend it on women. I'm PRETTY sure how she meant it. Yes, without asking, she knows, although I don't think that was the case when I first came out. My partner for six years was very beloved in my family, and I think they actually took it at face value that we were just friends and roommates. However, my mom did NOT like my second girlfriend. Her exact words to me were: "I don't like her. I don't like how she looks at you." (My then-gf looked at me like I was lunch. lol) Yeah, my mom gets it without me saying a word.

My dad? Not so sure. Not anything he'd ever say anyway. He's not that way.
My oldest sister? There's no way in hell she can read my FB every day, watch the different female friends of mine flirt with me, my responses, and not know. But she then ostriches it.
My youngest sister? She totally ostriches it.
They confronted me with it once...just a month or so after I came out. It totally freaked me out and I said no. I don't think they're ever going to ask me again. They know the truth.

No, I'm queer and out. And I think I look very queer. LOL In fact, I think I queer femmes when I'm with them. I look so damn dykey that people assume they are, as well. (Probably goes for my straight girlfriends, as well).
I just meant that being single, I'm not bringing anyone home for dinner, etc. So it makes it easy for them. They get to pretend for a while, you know?