[Ms. Meander]

I came here yesterday morning and started to write a post about some of the unpleasant and defensive reactions I'm getting from people as I'm coming out as poly. But then I was called away and never made it back.

Later in the day I had a surprising experience that counterbalanced some of the above negativity. I visited with a friend who is dear to me because she has an open and loving heart. However, our differences are vast. She is older than me, straight, kind of sheltered in her thinking and experiences, definitely vanilla. When she asked about my love life I decided to just spill it all, fully expecting judgement and lack of understanding. But that's not what I got. She was genuinely intrigued. Having unsuccessfully dabbled in poly in her own youth, she has always wondered if there was a way to do it better. And now, she is feeling like she may like to explore it again but had no idea where to start or who she could talk to about it without feeling judged. We talked for hours. It was great for both of us. She got to open her horizons, receive new information, and walked away with resources she could only dream of before. I got to be heard, understood, respected. And I discovered that I'm much more knowledgeable than I give myself credit for.

Because there is some crossover for me, and in some of the resources I directed her to, we broached the topic of BDSM. Now this is something waaaaaayyyyy outside her understanding and comfort zone. Just think about all of the stigmas and judgements of mainstream, vanilla society - that's what she had to work with on the topic. But because she knows me as a kind, loving, and evolved soul it opened her eyes to the possibilities because she could never believe that I would be involved with anything evil or destructive. We talked for hours and it was amazing.

The main take-away for me is the benefit of living openly and honestly. I am learning, as with in other areas of my life also, the more open I am, the more open others are with me. When I speak truth, some people can't wait to speak it back. Yes, there will always be naysayers and those who think I am just plain nuts but the honest connections I'm making with some far outweighs the negative.