Quote:
Originally Posted by Thinker
Wondering if anyone else here is using the Wii for exercise???
I just finished the 30-day challenge that is on the DVD EA Sports Active, Personal Trainer. The sequel DVD More Workouts has a 6-week challenge, and I start that tomorrow.
This Wii stuff is the best thing I've tried since I quit organized sports a gazillion years ago!! And it's FUN!!
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Ok, that's IT. I am getting a friggin' Wii!
I have gone in and out of Best Buy more times than I can count to look at them and have even gone to order one online a few times and I have, up until now, talked myself out of it by doing the whole "it's not something I NEED" thing.
Well, let me just share a bit of an experience that I had yesterday.
I generally think about my health often. In the last 2 years, I have stopped smoking, stopped drinking full-sugar sodas and have cut WAY back on Diet Sodas. I have also increased my water intake and my intake of fresh veggies and fiber. So, Im doing great right?
Well, yesterday something happened that made me want to rethink the whole "Im thinking more about health" thing.
I played hookey from work yesterday so that Jack and I could enjoy a beautiful 73-degree sunny day. We went outside with the intention of doing some yard work. After I cut about 10 feet of azaleas, I looked at Jack and said "We should go to the lake".
Half an hour later, we were at the lake and Jack was dragging fishing equipment down to the banks.
The banks of this particular lake are solid shale and the corps of engineers has done a great job of stair-stepping it so that it's fairly easy to walk. There are still a large amount of loose rocks and uneven terrain. We had to hike down a large hill covered with shale to get to the actual banks of the water.
As we were hiking, I could feel the looseness in the ankle that I broke 2 years ago (and subsequently walked around on broken for almost 3 months) and how my balance felt wobbly and unsteady. I could feel my knees crying out for mercy. I could feel my hips wanting to let go of my legs.
When we got down to the banks, Jack hopped from rock to rock easily while looking for a primo fishing spot. Me? I lumbered ungracefully, wobbling from ledge to ledge knowing that I couldnt bounce on unsteady ankles that way withouth ending up in the icy water. I watched Jack's agility, her balance, her effortless movement and I thought to myself, "Wow, I used to be able to move like that."
When we were done fishing, we gathered our stuff and started the hike back up the hill to the truck.
After only 10 or 12 paces, my chest tightened up and I started gasping deeply for breath. I felt my heart working wildly to move all of my weight up the hill. I felt my body going into overdrive jjust doing the simple task of walking up a hill. It was scary. At one point, I tried to stop gasping for breath because I didn't want everyone at the lake hearing me. When I tried to stop gasping, I couldnt. It was like my body was on autopilot and I had no control.
That lack of control was scary.
I am not a person who is used to my body betraying my piloting. I am also not a person who is embarrassed about my size or the way I look. I generally love myself and think Im looking rather fine most days.
Yesterday was a wake-up call.
I can *feel* fine/pretty/sexy all I want but it generally isnt sexy to be gasping desperately the way I was yesterday. It probably wouldnt be sexy laying on the ground having a heart attack either. It probably would be even less sexy dropping dead from a stroke.
And honestly, the thought of laying on the ground looking up at my partner's face being full of fear is enough to motivate me.
I owe her better than that.
I owe myself better than that.
My love for my (fat) self isnt changing. I still will be fat positive, I will still say that health "isnt all about the numbers". I will still insist that fat can be sexy.
What I wont do anymore is put my mobility in danger for a fucking twinkie.
There are deep layers of emotional shit tied to my own eating habits. Im not afraid to say it. Im not ashamed of it. It just is what it is.
My goal is to get on the bike tonight and ride for 20 minutes.
I'll do that and go from there.