[GreeneyedMe]

Originally Posted by Ms. Meander

This is my 50th time! I was quit for a the year 2009, and for 6 weeks last winter (taught myself to crochet!), and numerous less successful times before, in between, and since. I've cut down from a pack a day, to half a pack, to 1/3. I've got so many tools and coping skills in my arsenal, it's ridiculous. And I'm a little embarrassed - but that's why I'm talking about it. Shame has no place here, and it will just make me want to smoke more. This is totally a psychological issue for me. I've done so much growth and healing, but cigarettes have been my only constant since I was a teenager. Even though I hate smoking, it's like the death of a beloved friend. There. I said it. It's really feels that dramatic. Maybe I need to allow myself to grieve the loss of this companion that saw me through so much, while recognizing I don't need it anymore, and letting go...

Honey....you are not alone...I could write the same words as you have here....I fight with myself every time I light up....I want and need to do it...my longest time recently was 71 hours...I call them my evil deadly friends and argue why I keep allowing them to keep their grip on me....sigh....we will get there....we will get there...we will!!