Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms. Meander
Being an ethical non-monogamist is not all fun a games, in case anyone is wondering. Although there are plenty of fun and games, there is also a good measure of work. Work on oneself, self-searching honesty and humility. Work on relationships and communication skills. Lots and lots of intention and implementation. Boundary discovery and establishment. Attention to feelings, needs, and desires - hers, hers, mine, her partner's - and the cat's.
It is work. I asked for it, and I am being given every opportunity to test my commitment to growth and change - the opportunity to walk my talk. And I am giving myself the opportunity to create the life I want, in open, meaningful relation to others.
I'm pleased with what I'm learning about myself, so far. And I am having a whole lot of fun along the way!
|
It is a lot of work no matter how simple or complex your relationships. In fact I was lying in my bed the other morning (I often wake up very early, light a candle, play music and think) at how much I've changed over the years. There's so many things about being single and a lone I really love. When I think about being in a relationship, especially the wrong relationship it freaks me out a little. I'm so comfortable in my own skin and with my own company that I question if its healthy. lol I love company and I'd love to be in love but honestly I wonder if that "right" person exist. My EX was a lot like me and it was really nice. We didn't always question each other and we both enjoyed our alone space and time together. We didn't have to make excuses or worry about stupid shit. Had she not cheated and lied to me I would have had the perfect partner. But I would have eventually come to some of the realizations I have this past year so maybe not.
I'm not sure how hard I'm willing to work anymore or how much BS I'm willing to endure for the sake of a relationship. I know it sounds like I;ve given up but I really haven't. I think for sure that I'd like an intelligent, strong, compassionate, well rounded partner and if they are not as submissive as I might like or need that they would be ok with me having slaves. I've thought about this long and hard lately. I could only ever be really sexually intimate (kissing on the mouth, fucking etc.) with one person, however I can play and have D/s relationships with others.
Again, I"m just looking and waiting for the right person(s). They would need to be very secure and self sufficient.