IMO, if any of this facilitates your personal growth, it's worth it. If you are in a committed relationship for life that at least is not tearing you down, it's worth it. If you are young and have massive amounts of bandwidth to spare and are having a hell of a great time, it's worth it.
Otherwise, it is TOO much work. Unless you just have play partners or are quite selfish. As I get older, I am less of a fan of poly -- for me. It's fine if the person in my life wants poly as long as the other people in her life don't fuck up
my peace with their stoopid drama. I would rather go on a meditation retreat or go to a concert or travel.
Getting old, I guess.
Plus my job is a people job. And truly I have already learned a lot about myself. I am not as interested in me as I used to be. All a function of age, I guess. No regrets. We change.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms. Meander
Being an ethical non-monogamist is not all fun a games, in case anyone is wondering. Although there are plenty of fun and games, there is also a good measure of work. Work on oneself, self-searching honesty and humility. Work on relationships and communication skills. Lots and lots of intention and implementation. Boundary discovery and establishment. Attention to feelings, needs, and desires - hers, hers, mine, her partner's - and the cat's.
It is work. I asked for it, and I am being given every opportunity to test my commitment to growth and change - the opportunity to walk my talk. And I am giving myself the opportunity to create the life I want, in open, meaningful relation to others.
I'm pleased with what I'm learning about myself, so far. And I am having a whole lot of fun along the way!
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