Originally Posted by Ciaran
I understand why it would appear that international is much more daunting but, practically, I'm not certain that is always the case - at least, not where both parties live in major transport hubs. Just my perspective on this .......
I speak as someone who did the whole LDR-thing internationally for some years and, whilst the relationship ended, it wasn't due to distance issues. Note that, at the peak, we made 9 transatlantic trips in a single year (I traveled to California 6 times and she visited the UK on 3 occasions).
I live in London so can be in large US metropolitan hubs on the east coast in 7 hours and the west coast in 11 hours. Also, if you manage the time difference effectively, you maximise the time too.
For example, my ex-partner lives in San Diego and I live in London. San Diego is, geographically, just about the furthest part of mainland USA to London. However, given the 8 hour time difference, whenever I traveled to San Diego, I was able to spend half a day in the office, catch a flight to San Diego at 3pm and arrive into San Diego shortly after 6pm. On the way back, I'd fly at 8pm, sleeping on the plane, arriving into London early the following afternoon having slept on the plane.
So the traveling didn't eat into time too much. In fact, the traveling appears to be quicker and less tiring than some of the long (by European standards) car journeys that many people in the US regularly take. Take the Reunion for example. Little Rock is more difficult for me to get to than larger US cities as there are, understandably, no direct flights from London but I am still able to get there inside ten hours or so ...... a shorter time than many who made the trip from much closer parts of the US by road.
Also, the time for travel and cost of international airfares is often not much more than cross-country time and fares. For example, I am meeting my friend from San Diego in NYC in May. We decided to meet in NYC because it's almost a halfway point between San Diego and London. I think her flight to NYC takes six hours and my flight takes 7 hours. Also her return flight was around $600, not much less than my own fare.
Of course, there are some added complications in an international LDR which arrive if and when both parties want to take the relationship to the "next" level i.e. transforming the relationship from long distance to a physically closer one, whether living together or not.
However, usually, these challenges can be overcome and if you've got to that stage (that's a big if !), then it's hopefully something worth persevering for.
From my perspective, I cannot give advice on LDRs and any advice I would give would, based on my relationship failures, probably not be worth following anyway. All I'd say is keep it grounded and real - as I think some people who can be attracted to LDRs can be blinded by fantasy and overlook reality. But I'd say the same for relationships closer to home too.
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