I think it's vital to be selfish sometimes. Selfish in the way I interpret that word at its root. Be focused on your self. Have a rich inner life. Be complete unto yourself so that you can bring a whole, fully formed you to the mix. That whole "you complete me" thing disturbs me. I don't want to complete you, but I'd love to be your balancing counterpart. I'll gladly be the savory to your sweet and want you to be the acid in my base.
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Now, if I could just find a way to get paid for what I can do with my tongue and a cherry stem. 
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