April 6
Fearing Fearlessness
How many times have I given the credit to night blind fear, credit due the brave persistent child? How many times have I blamed the willing diligent pursuer when the fault was the backstabbing delay of mistrust? I resist the onset of freedom. Fear was my oldest familiar and I put from my mind that it was my jailer, captor; kidnapped me from my cradle and kept me locked from G-d’s fine intentions. Fearlessness sounds debilitating to my crippled ears, organs who hear well the disclaimers and are deaf to the claims. I am the producer of bile and addicted to dread, endorphins wear white hats and win the day once this yellow belly is put to bed.
Allow yourself distance from uncomfortable people
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BIRDS AND BEES
Birds and Bees can get me drunk
I have to watch the amount of envy
Which pours through me as I watch their bliss
When others make a beeline to the hive
I must head to a meeting and save myself despair
If my spiritual condition is not sound
When other couples are weaving their nests
I have to be careful
Not to weave my way back to the bar
The mating dance is so sweet and seductive
I have to make sure
I don't end up doing the two step
For as much as I hate to admit it
If steps one and twelve where enough to keep me sober
The rest would not have needed to be written
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