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imperfect_cupcake · 04-11-2013, 10:11 AM

you ain't kiddin. I've got a date from Seattle coming up for a few days (which is lovely. Everyone always expects me to come to them. Er... intensified school program?? I can't go *anywhere* for the next year and a half except between terms! I haven't even seen my own mom in a month and she only lives an hour from me!) and her best mate knows my soon to be ex wife. One of my exes in London that I lived with wound up being a close friend of an ex-fling of mine in san fran... jeeeeezzzzusss. Seven lesbians in the world and the rest is done with mirrors
The globe be TINY.

I did write something earlier about concepts of purity.

And my guess is that straight girls would LOVE to tell men to change their cocks from their last gf.

But we did fight for a very long time to have the right NOT to be a virgin before marriage, to not have that "purity" be "spoiled"... no penis can so unalterably change our vagina that we can never become proper lesbians, nor make it impossible to have new and wonderful sex with someone else, after someone else has been there.

That said, I do get a large percentage of my long term partners making cracks about how many people I've slept with. Most of the time, I'll admit it's funny. But when it's mixed in with insecurity about how they compare, it gets kinda deadly. And they start getting mean. And asking a lot of questions about how they compare.
Imagine of someone, right after having sex said "is my ass fat?"
"no."
"no really, is my ass fat"
"no."
"it's ok, if my ass is fat, cause it's ok to tell me."
"your ass is not fat"
"I mean I'd totally understand if you thought it was."
"it's not"
"If my ass was fat would you tell me?"
"jesus wept, would you shut the fuck up?"

after every time you had sex? it would drive you nuts, right? Same goes with the insecurity around sex. And people get very insecure about it. And take that out on other people/inanimate objects.

It honestly doesn't occur to me that other people are thinking about their exes when screwing me. I don't. so why would they. I am, however, reminded that people project a hell of a lot. And that when people fear judgement from others, it's USUALLY because they are doing a lot of judging themselves.

So I know that if someone is worried about me associating ___ with my ex (or one of the unwashed many before hahaha) then more than likely, they are actually thinking about their own. Or have been with others. Or when they wank. That's a big cluedo for me.

I've done it, right after a break up. When still reeling and trying to get my bearings and trying to get my self back. It happens. But it had nothing to do with who's willy they wore, in fact the last person that happened with, it was in their bed, with their toys, in a different city. I was just unable to comprehend it wasn't my wife, quite suddenly. And the poor sod, I started crying.

but she distracted me with a story,calmed me down, then got back on the horse (so to speak) and the second attempt, the eagle landed. So knew what I was upset about. She also had enough empathy to understand how hard it was for me, her being the first person after my wife left.

She was not jealous. She did not mind I struggled but really wanted to be there. My desire for her was enough.

it didn't matter who's cock it was. And personally I think if they other person fears an ex present on some genitals, that ex is in the room already, watching.

but I suppose concepts of purity also has something to do with it. Lots of men don't want "sloppy seconds" from a girl who has just broken with her boyfriend. Hetero gals I know would love to change his dick cause they want a pure cock that is their alone.

So it's also concepts of ownership. People don't want to own some used genitals. They want fresh, pure ones that are fresh from the store and theirs alone.

so, yeah, ownership. This dick is "ours".

Vs this dick is "Mine."

concepts such as that. my pussy is mine. anything anyone brings to the table is theirs. I don't want to own it. I mean, if we are monogamous then I would be very happy if they didn't put their hands, face, clit, dick in anyone else's vagina, but I certainly don't own them. I don't own their detachables either. If they are bought during the relationship, I'll probably take it haha

I did, however get really fucked off at the thought of my wife fucking around on me with that dick. so I made sure that particular item was not ever able to be inserted anywhere ever again. So, I can succumb to ownership myself, at highly emotional and stressful times.

04-11-2013, 10:11 AM	#173
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	you ain't kiddin. I've got a date from Seattle coming up for a few days (which is lovely. Everyone always expects me to come to them. Er... intensified school program?? I can't go anywhere for the next year and a half except between terms! I haven't even seen my own mom in a month and she only lives an hour from me!) and her best mate knows my soon to be ex wife. One of my exes in London that I lived with wound up being a close friend of an ex-fling of mine in san fran... jeeeeezzzzusss. Seven lesbians in the world and the rest is done with mirrors The globe be TINY. I did write something earlier about concepts of purity. And my guess is that straight girls would LOVE to tell men to change their cocks from their last gf. But we did fight for a very long time to have the right NOT to be a virgin before marriage, to not have that "purity" be "spoiled"... no penis can so unalterably change our vagina that we can never become proper lesbians, nor make it impossible to have new and wonderful sex with someone else, after someone else has been there. That said, I do get a large percentage of my long term partners making cracks about how many people I've slept with. Most of the time, I'll admit it's funny. But when it's mixed in with insecurity about how they compare, it gets kinda deadly. And they start getting mean. And asking a lot of questions about how they compare. Imagine of someone, right after having sex said "is my ass fat?" "no." "no really, is my ass fat" "no." "it's ok, if my ass is fat, cause it's ok to tell me." "your ass is not fat" "I mean I'd totally understand if you thought it was." "it's not" "If my ass was fat would you tell me?" "jesus wept, would you shut the fuck up?" after every time you had sex? it would drive you nuts, right? Same goes with the insecurity around sex. And people get very insecure about it. And take that out on other people/inanimate objects. It honestly doesn't occur to me that other people are thinking about their exes when screwing me. I don't. so why would they. I am, however, reminded that people project a hell of a lot. And that when people fear judgement from others, it's USUALLY because they are doing a lot of judging themselves. So I know that if someone is worried about me associating ___ with my ex (or one of the unwashed many before hahaha) then more than likely, they are actually thinking about their own. Or have been with others. Or when they wank. That's a big cluedo for me. I've done it, right after a break up. When still reeling and trying to get my bearings and trying to get my self back. It happens. But it had nothing to do with who's willy they wore, in fact the last person that happened with, it was in their bed, with their toys, in a different city. I was just unable to comprehend it wasn't my wife, quite suddenly. And the poor sod, I started crying. but she distracted me with a story,calmed me down, then got back on the horse (so to speak) and the second attempt, the eagle landed. So knew what I was upset about. She also had enough empathy to understand how hard it was for me, her being the first person after my wife left. She was not jealous. She did not mind I struggled but really wanted to be there. My desire for her was enough. it didn't matter who's cock it was. And personally I think if they other person fears an ex present on some genitals, that ex is in the room already, watching. but I suppose concepts of purity also has something to do with it. Lots of men don't want "sloppy seconds" from a girl who has just broken with her boyfriend. Hetero gals I know would love to change his dick cause they want a pure cock that is their alone. So it's also concepts of ownership. People don't want to own some used genitals. They want fresh, pure ones that are fresh from the store and theirs alone. so, yeah, ownership. This dick is "ours". Vs this dick is "Mine." concepts such as that. my pussy is mine. anything anyone brings to the table is theirs. I don't want to own it. I mean, if we are monogamous then I would be very happy if they didn't put their hands, face, clit, dick in anyone else's vagina, but I certainly don't own them. I don't own their detachables either. If they are bought during the relationship, I'll probably take it haha I did, however get really fucked off at the thought of my wife fucking around on me with that dick. so I made sure that particular item was not ever able to be inserted anywhere ever again. So, I can succumb to ownership myself, at highly emotional and stressful times.