I’ve read this thread with some interest – how some think they are – others think they are not – based on - how they feel or react or things they do – romance is very much an individual thing...I think some people think they aren’t “romantic” because they don’t fit the “hallmark” version of what we’ve been told romance is - meaning if you show up for a special date with a dozen long stem roses – a box of “Whitman sampler” chocolates and a bottle of sparkling “whatever” (oh and let’s not forget the giant stuffed teddy bear with a big red heart on it) – you are romantic and if you don’t – you are not...
Me, personally – I don’t think “hallmark” has done “romance” any favors – there is nothing “romantic” about crowding in the local pharmacy around a card rack with 14 other guys – on the day of “any” land mark occasion – stepping on dropped envelopes – or not finding one at all – and then just “picking one” – because you are in a hurry – and simply scrawling – “love, ____” at the end of a pre-written verse – that 2,364 other women are reading at the same time your loved one might be – (but) – on the other hand – I realize that even the very act of evening “thinking” about buying a card – is “romantic” to some – so, again – it is an individual thing.
I think we fellas and ladies too – put too much pressure on ourselves and have self-debate about “if” we are being romantic – because some magazine has written a list of the “10 Most Romantic Things to do for your Lover” – and you read them – and say – oh, well wow – no, I’ve never actually taken my wife on a romantic cruise – renewed our wows on the white sandy beaches of “wherever” …(OK – you know I exaggerate on these things by now) – but seriously – I’ve been guilty of it – I “read” those things sometimes – we all do … and I’m scratching my head thinking – “yeah…I don’t do any of that” – but does that mean I’m not “romantic” – because the Editor at Romance Weekly says I’m not because I didn’t do “x y or z” – and seriously – how do you know your partner or loved one isn’t reading the same list on “girls night out” - and they are laughing because the list is usually so out of perspective with what most view everyday romance might even be.
Being romantic to me – isn’t some sweeping grand gesture once a year on a special occasion like a birthday/anniversary or the “biggie” Valentine’s day...not that I don’t like to do “special” things I do – but I don’t necessarily consider them “romantic” I guess.
To me? Romantic is part of the whole package of “romance” itself – it’s not a “once in a while kind of thing” – and if you love someone deeply – and unconditionally – I think “romance” is just part of that “love” – so what some consider ordinary perhaps is romantic to me…part of what makes (her) romantic to me – even if she doesn’t realize it – is who she is – the essence of who she is - how she conducts her everyday life and around other people – how she makes them feel – when I see how they react to her – and appreciate her words or kindness – and the fact that it isn’t even something she “thinks” about – she just does – because it is “part of her” –and I smile inside because she has such a grace and elegance about her and I’m so proud of who she is as a person - or to me it’s romantic that she knows I hate meatloaf and that I love Dutch Apple pie – that she always remembers to have lots of milk in the refrigerator – or that she no matter how busy her day might be - stops always at some point to give me that special smile – or text or phone call that makes me know in that moment –
nothing or no one else was more important to her than me…now – (that) to me is romantic – but you don’t see that in a magazine or on a list or inside a hallmark card…I think there are those that can be “romantic” without actually truly “loving someone” – but for me – it is all tied in together – the flowers that I might give her as a “grand gesture” means nothing – if I don’t love her enough or pay attention enough to do the small things – like take out the garbage without being asked – or fix the door – or mow the grass without being reminded…yeah – it’s in the everyday.
But, now – you know– I ramble…lol! – These threads just get me to thinking about topics in general but the question was do I see myself as romantic. Do I like to think that I weave daily romance into the way that I simply love her the best way I know how every day? – yes.
Is that romantic – hopeless or otherwise? No – I don’t think so –
it just means - I.simply.love.her.