[Girl_On_Fire]

I'm definitely not in the place where I want to take her back. We've been there, done that many times over. I'm in a different place. I think the only reason I don't block her email address (which I've done in the past) is because she's threatened to harm herself. I've been saving each email in case she does that again. That way, I can at least call someone and get her help. Apparently, the last time I blocked her email address, she threw herself into a river.

This may sound cold and detached but I saw things when I was with her that greatly raised my tolerance for unbalanced behavior. I know I'm strong enough this time around to see the emails for what they are and if need be, and they get really unbalanced, I have a legitimate reason to call someone if I have to.

I wish she could see that her sudden desire for me out of the blue is just her feeling guilty and her way of not dealing with her own issues and her own pain. I don't know if she'll ever stop running from herself and despite everything, I'll always love her. I just can't be with or interact with her. I'm only enabling her behavior if I do and it's not doing me any emotional favors either.