Quote:
Originally Posted by AscotButch
What about, rather than putting any sort of pressure on yourself to define/determine what sort of butch you are, you simply strive to get the best sense of self you can? Perhaps in doing that the butch tumblers will fall into place for you. As I said above, my butchness isn't generally something I even think about because it's simply one aspect of my existence. While I understand how labels are useful in the context of some conversations because they help delineate constructs, for the most part I'm inclined to say, "Fuck 'em."
"I'm curious about something else. You've said that part of what defines butch for you is your "admiration/love for butches". By that do you mean women who present in the physical way that reads butch to you (allowing for the fact that we come in every conceivable shape, size, attire, hair style, plumage, etc), or are you also talking about that energy, in all its permutations, that is endemic to the butch nation? I ask because it's always interesting to me to find out what turns people on. And, probably, I'm nosy.
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Finding out what type of butch I am has been problematic for me, so I'm definitely trying to retrain my mind to not label myself...however, when I see someone who identifies as butch....it makes me so happy lol, butches who identify as butch must have some pride there, right?
Lol I really don't know what I meant by my admiration of other butches is part of what makes me butch...more like a brotherhood/sense of belonging feeling? But a butch that really turns me on...will come up and shove me, and if I shove back, which I will lol, my type of hot butch is durable if not stronger than I am. When this butch shaves my head, it digs in rough so I can feel it-roughness is huge for me. Confident butches are super hot. Short hair, baggy clothes...the walk haha. Butches that pack are also a huge turn on. If it didn't freak my gf out, I might pack too. (she also does not pack. I'm lucky we are together in the first place, she likes femmes, but she did like "me".)
And some of the butchness ties into bdsm stuff for me...
So thanks to CheryINYC, I now have this term I can throw around for myself..."submissive butch". I mean, I'm not going to be bossed around or anything, I'm a bit of a switch anyway. I'm five foot nothing, so its hard for me to think someone would take me seriously as a dom, especially since I'm not much of an entertainer.
I love dom butches though. But no degradation/shame, and they can't say "obey me" or "submit"...it would have to be more like.. jeez I donno..."you're going to relax. Stop fighting me. Now." You know, all standing over me and shit daring me to challenge it.
That's one of my wrestling fantasies. Just that firm confidence. So I guess I'm saying the dynamic has to be right. My girlfriend is not into bdsm...it would kill me if we broke up over it, but the incompatibility might be a major problem. Now she's a gentle butch, but she's bigger than me, even though I'm stronger....but, she is a manger
I think I'm gonna stop there; hope I actually answered your question somewhere in there lolz