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Miss Scarlett · 05-11-2013, 10:48 AM

Has anyone been through something like this?

There are times that my weight loss feels less like a blessing and more like a "curse"...This morning I am having some old me/new me issues. I was looking at pics taken yesterday and cannot wrap my brain around the fact that it's really me. It just doesn't seem possible. The old me, the pre-weight loss me of 5 years ago is clouding things. My WL doc assures me that, while it may never stop completely, in time this will happen less frequently. But it's very unsettling nonetheless...

I still have "fat days"...the ones where I feel like I'm still in that old body...getting in my own way...sometimes that's who is looking back at me from the mirror. There are also my "thin days"...the ones where I feel so small. I look down at myself and marvel at the narrowness of my lower body...the distance between me and the steering wheel or the fact that there's so much "give" in my seat belt. And I remind myself that 5 years ago there was no such distance or "give."

And it's more than just getting used to my appearance. There are the hunger issues. The old me seldom felt hungry so I'm having to get used to the feeling and that it means I need to eat. Oddly enough recognizing when I'm full (as in satisfied not stuffed) was never a problem when I started the diet and exercise program prescribed for me. In fact, that's been really easy.

According to my WL doc this feeling of being hungry, recognizing it as hunger, is an indication of being in a healthy body...that I'm "thinking like a healthy person." When he asked me if I remembered being thin I reminded him that at that point in my life I was a former athlete who was struggling with an eating disorder so I'm at a disadvantage. And while I am no longer "practicing" the disorder will always be with me every moment of every day and with every bite of food. Perhaps that's why this is so difficult...

Despite this disconnect I am determined to keep moving forward because I know that I am far healthier now than 5 years ago. And I refuse to ever do that to myself again.

And while I am having these current struggles, I haven't lost faith in myself and in the end I WILL win!

05-11-2013, 10:48 AM	#2
Miss Scarlett Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: . Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: . Posts: 5,530 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,478 Thanked 12,947 Times in 3,419 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Has anyone been through something like this? There are times that my weight loss feels less like a blessing and more like a "curse"...This morning I am having some old me/new me issues. I was looking at pics taken yesterday and cannot wrap my brain around the fact that it's really me. It just doesn't seem possible. The old me, the pre-weight loss me of 5 years ago is clouding things. My WL doc assures me that, while it may never stop completely, in time this will happen less frequently. But it's very unsettling nonetheless... I still have "fat days"...the ones where I feel like I'm still in that old body...getting in my own way...sometimes that's who is looking back at me from the mirror. There are also my "thin days"...the ones where I feel so small. I look down at myself and marvel at the narrowness of my lower body...the distance between me and the steering wheel or the fact that there's so much "give" in my seat belt. And I remind myself that 5 years ago there was no such distance or "give." And it's more than just getting used to my appearance. There are the hunger issues. The old me seldom felt hungry so I'm having to get used to the feeling and that it means I need to eat. Oddly enough recognizing when I'm full (as in satisfied not stuffed) was never a problem when I started the diet and exercise program prescribed for me. In fact, that's been really easy. According to my WL doc this feeling of being hungry, recognizing it as hunger, is an indication of being in a healthy body...that I'm "thinking like a healthy person." When he asked me if I remembered being thin I reminded him that at that point in my life I was a former athlete who was struggling with an eating disorder so I'm at a disadvantage. And while I am no longer "practicing" the disorder will always be with me every moment of every day and with every bite of food. Perhaps that's why this is so difficult... Despite this disconnect I am determined to keep moving forward because I know that I am far healthier now than 5 years ago. And I refuse to ever do that to myself again. And while I am having these current struggles, I haven't lost faith in myself and in the end I WILL win!