[Greyson]

I had my first follow up doctor appointment today with the surgeon. I felt like I was on a field trip on a beautiful California Spring day. Julie and I had lunch at the hospital cafeteria. When I was in the hospital Julie ate there a lot. She had nothing but kudos for the hospital cafeteria. The food is good, nutritional and reasonably priced. For Julie to like cafeteria food was amazing. She is a bit of a foodie. Me, I will eat almost anything. Maybe not so much anymore. Although I did not have heart disease, I am changing my diet. More veggies and fruit, less red meat and carbs.

You know, I did not even realize I had a malfunctioning heart valve and an enlarged heart. No heart attack, no chest pain, no shortness of breath. The heart condition was found by chance because I had a chest xray done for something unrelated to heart health.

I am very physically strong, good genes but this has also kept me in some denial about how I take care of myself, or lack there of. For me, losing weight is no longer just about how I look. This has really opened my eyes to yet another layer in my life onion. I appreciate the love and support of many here. How could it not feel inspiring to know people out there really do care?

Tomorrow I have another follow up appointment but with the cardiologist. Well really with his P.A. The P.A. is a white straight man and has treated me with nothing but professionalism, great bed side manner and respect.

There is much for me to learn, evaluate, consider and give back in this entire experience. Did I have fear? You bet. It did cross my mind that I may not wake up from surgery. I am not afraid of dying but I was afraid of not having lived some of my dreams, goals and leaving many people behind that I love.

I will say this, do not put off your life, your hopes, dreams and forgiving others and Yourself.