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Little Fish · 05-17-2013, 11:06 AM

First of all, congratulations on raising such a self-aware and courageous young woman--she sounds amazing!

A couple of passing thoughts fwiw...

I think you should share with her *exactly* what you wrote here. In it's entirety. On one hand, she lives in her adolescent world and knows exactly how hostile it is and likely has a sense of how bad it could be too. Share with her your specific concerns about that as well as your concerns about her religious family. I think being specific at the potential for loss is vital--we've all lost friends &/or family b/c we're queer!

Continuing to talk with her and give her the tools to negotiate friendships, family, homophobia, internalized shame, girlfriends, sex--all of it--will make the difference for her too. Trust your instincts ButchMamaBear--you do know her. Given the fact of your small town etc.--there is something to be said for coming out selectively (over time?) for self-preservation and also, this allows her to mature into herself and her identity. I know this was my path and it worked well for me.

Please keep us all posted!--I'm so excited for you!
(And CIJS, I have a delightful 9yo boy but truly, the queerest thing about him is me and my ex-wife !)

05-17-2013, 11:06 AM	#4
Little Fish Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: female ones, will also respond to babe, boi and Romeo Relationship Status: Happy :-) Join Date: May 2012 Location: apearldiver@gmail.com Posts: 349 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,655 Thanked 1,886 Times in 321 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	WOOO HOO !! First of all, congratulations on raising such a self-aware and courageous young woman--she sounds amazing! A couple of passing thoughts fwiw... I think you should share with her exactly what you wrote here. In it's entirety. On one hand, she lives in her adolescent world and knows exactly how hostile it is and likely has a sense of how bad it could be too. Share with her your specific concerns about that as well as your concerns about her religious family. I think being specific at the potential for loss is vital--we've all lost friends &/or family b/c we're queer! Continuing to talk with her and give her the tools to negotiate friendships, family, homophobia, internalized shame, girlfriends, sex--all of it--will make the difference for her too. Trust your instincts ButchMamaBear--you do know her. Given the fact of your small town etc.--there is something to be said for coming out selectively (over time?) for self-preservation and also, this allows her to mature into herself and her identity. I know this was my path and it worked well for me. Please keep us all posted!--I'm so excited for you! (And CIJS, I have a delightful 9yo boy but truly, the queerest thing about him is me and my ex-wife !)