[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Kobi

A 2 hour drive, even with a cat meowing at the top of her lungs, gives me time to think.

Today I was thinking about exes. Specifically, what role, if any, do exes play in peoples lives?

For me, I went thru the "I want to stay friends" phase. It was easy for me, seeing I usually initiated the break up and was emotionally disengaged. It wasnt as easy for the other person.

I found we remained in contact for a while, then gradually less and less, until now when I find myself wondering what ever happened to....

A couple a years ago, I met a woman with an interesting approach to the matter. Her feeling was "exes are exes for a reason". I can now appreciate the profoundness is such a simple statement.

Anyone else have thoughts on the subject?

I do, actually. I've had amicable break ups and those that weren't so civil. Those that I felt did no disservice to me, I tend to keep in my heart and thoughts still. Those that I wouldn't wish on an enemy, the ties are severed and, while the pain from that occasionally pops up, they don't. At least, they'd better not.

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I am friends with most of my exes, they are like family.

Just because we did not work out living together (I know I am difficult) does not make them bad people.

Maybe my choices have not been so bad in the first place that I had to banish my exes from my presence for all time?

I feel truly blessed to have these wonderful allies and friends in my life. and I think they would say the same.



I have heard the "Exes are exes for a reason" thing, but usually from bitter grudge holders.

I liked most of your post, except the last line. While it's true I am bitter about a lot of things, saying 'exes are exes for a reason' doesn't denote that that is what I'm bitter about. *grin*

My exes are exes for two main reasons. One, they mistreated me and I wasn't having it or I mistreated them and knew it wasn't right. This mistreatment ranges from them cheating on me/me emotionally cheating on them to them beating on me. I may not have been able to put my foot down the very second the mistreatment occured, but you can best your sweet ass it *did* come down. Two, we just went our separate ways. There's no anger or bitterness here, just a sweet sadness. I'm glad for the time I had with them, but for whatever reason, it's over.

Though I haven't any anger for the exes that I just parted ways with, I do think that they are my ex for a reason. Now, that reason varies per person, but it's still there.

Originally Posted by Sweet

I always say...

The people in your life... past or present... make you who you are.

I've lived through HORRIBLE abuse at the hands of one ex...lived to tell of it and become a Survivor... not his victim.

He made me who I am today... a woman Standing Tall & Strong... not cowering to his fist or choking grip like I did then.

Honey, you know I love and adore you to pieces, but I'm calling bullshit here. You have ALWAYS been a strong woman. Granted, sometimes it takes difficult situations for us to realize that within ourselves, but you would not have been able to do all that you did and survived what you did if you didn't already have the makings inside of you all along.

Please do NOT give an abuser credit for you being strong.