I know that for my butch it depends on his mood that day, and mine for that matter. Sometimes it's the "Throw'em against the wall and take him hard and fast before he even knows what hit him", and then sometimes its that slow sweet smile that I can't help and as he calls them "laser focus eyes of desire" and I yield to him.
I might be in charge, but sometimes butch trumps femme (for us). I see him tonight, thanks ya'll for the brain candy.