I feel that each person should label themselves--or not label themselves--exactly as they see fit.
When I first realized my true sexuality, I was worried about not finding acceptance in the gay community because--frankly--I'm a femme attracted to other femmes. I love butches as friends, but there's just something about a pretty, feminine woman who is also strong and intelligent that just wildly attracts me.
Then I got to wondering just how butch or femme I really was. I wear makeup, I love flowers and flowery clothes, have hair past my shoulders, I have my apartment decorated in a distinctly Victorian style (or the Pepto Bismol pink motif, as some would call it), I stink at sports and have the mechanical skills of a tse tse fly. On the other hand I detest clothes shopping, am a fierce feminist in my political beliefs, have a tall, sturdy frame, don't go in for perms or manicures, and prefer comfy but colorful pantsuits over dresses.
Also, I wondered, should I really self-identify as lesbian? In my 20s I had some very passionate sexual and romantic relationships with men--all of whom had long hair and beautiful features.
Even now there are certain male celebs--everyone from actors Emmanuel Delcour, Channing Tatum and the late, great Patrick Swayze to musicians like Andy Biersack and Ashley Purdy from the band Black Veil Brides--that make my heart and other parts go all aflutter. Really, though, the average guy on the street does nothing for me, at least not in a romantic or sexual way.
Ultimately, I realized that all of the time I spent trying to analyze and categorize myself could be better spent toward building my career and character, toward thinking of others instead of focusing on myself. What's most important to me is that I try at all times to be a loving, hardworking, strong and giving person; the rest just kind of falls into place.
Greta