[s0litude]

When I finally acknowledged I was a transman, I thought I was cursed. My first injection, I'd like to tell y'all that I was stoic, strong, all excited and happy and rarin' to go. Nu uh. I was married even-- but I cried, thought no one could love me "this way". I can handle injections well, but the emotional side of it caused me to almost rip the arms off a stuffed animal I was hugging just to have something in my hands and arms.

Over time though, the shame and fear turned to pride.

I've had experiences and perspectives that others just do not "get" because of being a trans. I can easily see both sides of the coin when others are struggling to make sense of things. It truly is a blessing, not a curse. And I remember that when people try to belittle me for being this way. Sling your arrows elsewhere. I KNOW who and what I am. I'm damn proud of the man I became and continue to become each day. One day, I'll find a woman who loves me "scars and all". After all, scars are tattoos for the bold.

~Nicholas