[evolveme]

Originally Posted by Medusa

Oh yeah, and I prettttttty much agree with this - Im just thinking that some of these kids are closer to 15 and 16 than 17 and 18 and that their emotional intelligence is obviously lacking.
I do agree that they know their behavior is hurtful - I think back to the "mean girl and boy" mentality of high school and how kids who are too scared to think for themselves will often follow the crowd because its "safer" for them (thinking of all of those Queer kids who "act straight" in small towns in order to keep from getting the shit kicked out of them)

I think that people at that age aren't wholly formed yet and that maybe hearing and seeing the backlash might help them evolve a little. Or not.

I do think that Constance is incredibly brave and level and has shown immense grace under all of the stabby stuff. I hope that in some small way she gains strength from seeing all of the thousands of people who support her and love her.

I also agree that Constance should be commended. She's certainly brave.

What I want to speak to here is the back-and-forth about the developmental capacity of teenagers - whether we should expect them to be responsible (I believe we should) and to own compassion (I also believe we should) provided that we also understand their brains* and their environments. We need to have compassion *for* them, in order to expect it *from* them. And being from Mississippi, I can tell you that there isn't a meaty air of compassion from which to draw in the first.

The brains of teenagers are not fully formed. Their frontal lobes are "sluggish." They are high on impulsiveness and weak on decision making skill. This article from NPR came about when a pediatric neurologist decided to study what the heck was up with her teenage sons and why they appeared to be making such ridiculous decisions.

It isn't believed that brains are fully developed until into the twenties. So, I agree with Medusa, that while we can (must) hold these teenagers responsible for the poor choices they are making (we have to teach all kids to be accountable for themselves), it is really the parents here who must own what has occurred. Constance and every other teenager like her deserves that much.