I too am hard to love...after nearly 11 years, when we are out and I look up and my wife is not in sight, for a second I am filled with the certainty that she left me. Because of her love it is only a second now instead of breaking into a cold panicked sweat, but I know she can see it, and I know it hurts her.
I am a helper, and a pleaser, and I lose myself in what everyone else needs...but with therapy I am finding me and learning that the reason she stays and puts up with my shit, is because she loves me, even when I'm not all that loveable.
All of my life I pushed people away because I'm sure they will leave, but I'm finally done with that, and I'm in this for keeps.
No one is unloveable, and no one is too much of a mess....it just takes the right two people that will work through the hard stuff, and rejoice in the good.
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