Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimmeh
Growing up in a dysfunctional home as a child and being homeless at 16, ...Zimmeh
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This sounds familiar, for me I was 15 and fortunately my homeless stint was quite brief. The first couple of years out on my own were extremely slim pickings though when it came to food. Even though I worked full time, it was minimum wage, $1.30 per hour. Rent and a bus pass were about all I could have. I spent quite a bit of time genuinely hungry.
What that time in my life has left me with is sort of a weird combination of scarcity/hoarding behaviors in the kitchen. Until fairly recently I have always felt the need to have a jam-packed pantry "just in case". Having so much food around all the time was I am sure a big part of putting all that weight on me that I carried for a decade. If it's in the house, someday, someone will eat it. It was usually me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by alexri
I can totally understand the "food is love" and "food is comforting" concept. I lived with it for a long time.
Food didn't care that I was/am gay/trans. Food didn't tell me I was stupid like my mom did. Food didn't make fun of me. Food was comforting. It was pleasure in terms of taste.
It took me a very long time to appreciate that food is fuel and that I need to treat it as such. Crap in, crap out. Just like if I use watered-down gas for my car, the performance fails, if I feed myself crap, my body, the machine that it is, will pay for it. For some people, moderation works. For some, it doesn't.
Geneen Roth is a wonderful author and has written many pieces on breaking away from emotional eating.
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I am now at a point where I feel about it much like Alex does. It is an uneasy truce, but holding up a couple of years later. I still keep a well-stocked basic pantry but now it consists of all healthy whole foods.
Assuming that all holds well in my medical world, come September I'm going to embark on another physical change. Again I will experiment and track much as I did with my weight loss challenge. This time it will be for a body composition change. I know it will involve a lot of the same things I went through before with having to move away from some of my new favorite comfort foods and back into some uncomfortable places.
Oh joy
It will involve some "weight loss", although it will be actually more of a weight swap. Even though I am pretty much what would be popularly considered a "normal" (whatever that is) weight, I need to drop some body fat and pick up some lean tissue. A couple of the folks that were in here a few years ago may remember that I spent a lot of time in this thread during my initial changes and I plan on spending more time back in here and in the daily exercise thread when I start the next phase.
The support and accountability that I got in here really helped. I hope some of the people newer to this thread will come to appreciated it as I did. It is a lifeline.
