[thedivahrrrself]

There are very few major things I would have done differently. I might have talked a little less and listened a little more, definitely. But I don't regret the people I have loved - they helped to shape who I am. And the people I have lost - mostly, they knew how much they meant to me. Yes, I stick my foot in my mouth a lot, but those who love me tend to forgive me.

I think the thing I would have done most differently is stop looking to someone else to guide me and start looking for more answers from within. It opened the door for a lot of people to manipulate me, and I still fall into those habits from time to time. I would have spent less time exploring the submissive side of myself and started exploring the power I have within instead. Rather than looking for someone to control me, perhaps I should have learned to control myself.

If I could turn back time, I would have a harsh talk with myself about my own self-worth. I would tell the younger me that I am fully deserving of all good things, and I would refuse to accept the way I allowed a lot of people treat me over the course of my lifetime, particularly when I was very young.

The last few years have been pretty phenomenal - they have forced me to grow and learn a lot about myself, some of it I needed, but didn't want, to know. I have actively made sure the people in my life, be they friend or lover (or some mix of both), were good people, to the core of their being. These people will never know the value of their companionship - they collectively have helped me to feel worthwhile for the first time in my life. With their help, I will not repeat the mistakes of my past. I will spend the next 30 years making up for the last 30, and I'll be good to myself.



But after all that, I thought of one decision I would totally take back.... I would have never bought that Chevy Aveo!