[GraffitiBoi]

I have a few things on my mind that I am trying to sort through.

My job. I need to apply to more places and get out on some interviews so I can get away from the unnecessary stress my current one causes me. I need to get away from working night shift asap.

My health. It's actually pretty good with one exception. I have some choices to make that are a little tough. I've discussed the choices with one person so far but could use another person to discuss them with... I'm just not sure who...

My ex fiance. I'm not sure why all of a sudden she is being all caring about me and my health. She's offering to be there for me and help out in ways that inconvenience her. That is not like her at all. At least it wasn't when we were together. She knows we will never get back together and she doesn't want to (neither do I) and she knows my heart belongs to another.... even if that person doesn't want it...

Her. I'm trying to not feel the way I do but I can't seem to stop. I don't know if I should try and pursue her or walk away. For now I'm not doing anything. I'm a strong believer in not competing for someone, but I want to compete for her. Normally I just let the person see who I am and if they want me they can choose me. This time I want to prove to her that she should give me a chance. I could blame it on the pain meds, but I felt this way before I was on them... Ugh. What's a boy to do! LOL