Hi Everyone,
It's been three weeks since my best friend had her double mastectomy and simultaneous reconstructive surgery and she's started to turn a corner in her recovery, at last.
It's been a crazy, tumultuous, exhausting ride. I feel really grateful that I am one of a team of people who love her and have cared for her the past three weeks. It's been a full-time job, I don't know how anyone can do it round the clock.
Being present while she was in such incredible pain was the hardest part.
Since the last of the four drains came out the pain has been easier to manage with medication. She's weaning off pain medication now.
When I first saw her incisions I was shocked, they looked so enormous across the middle of both breasts, one side to the other, and so swollen and angry and Frankenstein like. It was alarming but I had to keep that to myself because she was feeling very distraught both with the pain and with how she looked.
But now, at the three week point, I am simply amazed at how her incisions are healing. It's like MAGIC! Her plastic surgeon is the head of plastics at Mass General in Boston, so we knew he had to be *good* but I am actually gobsmacked at
how good he is. She is going to have very minimal/barely perceivable scars, the incisions are healing in such a way that they look like french seams, perfectly joined and turned in to one another and smooth; almost seamless.
They were not able to save her nipples and that's been a bit of a struggle for her. If she wants nipples (or the look of nipples) the plastic surgeon will discuss options when they next visit. As I understand it they now use a few techniques to recreate nipples including tattooing. I've suggested she tattoo leopard print pasties in place of nipples.
The pathology has come back on her tumor, it's grade II and estrogen receptor positive. A bit bigger than they had originally thought from the MRI, which may mean that it grew quickly.
Her lymph nodes and the tissue in her other breast were all clear and there were clear margins around the tumor. All very good news. She will see her oncologist next week to discuss various options for post surgical treatment. It's quite likely they will suggest a short course of chemo or anti-estrogen therapy.
She's probably also going to need to schedule a hysterectomy sometime soon. the anti-estrogen drugs apparently increase the risk of uterine cancer. And my BFF's mother has already survived cancer in 9 different locations (mainly reproductive organs).
So, this looks to be the beginning of a longer process than we originally thought, and that was very discouraging and disheartening for her when she found out. But I think that now that the pain has lifted a bit - everything else is feeling a little less overwhelming.
I was feeling quite overwhelmed with everything myself until this weekend when I was able to catch up on my sleep and relax at home a bit. But wow! It's been challenging, to say the least. Trying to be responsive to her needs, being helpful and supportive to her wife and children and acting as crowd control to a cadre of (well meaning) friends - while working two jobs - was crazy making. I think I spent week two feeling quite frazzled and cranky and perpetually exhausted.
I have incredible respect and admiration for all of you carers!
Wishing you all good health!