[PoeticSilence]

I remember when I was four, five, and six, my mother took me to ballet lessons. I have no idea how they afforded it because we were very poor. I remember that she would drop me off early and I'd look at all of the pictures on the walls of ballerinas, maybe some of them were Degas copies, but I just couldn't believe how perfect they all looked. The first year I had used ballet slippers, but the second year I got a brand new pair, pink, with a small gold-coloured ballerina charm on the strap. I also got a little case to keep them in with my leotard and tights. I took my classes very seriously, but would never practice outside of the studio. I wouldn't even talk about it to my friends or family. During my third year I told my mother I didn't want to take ballet anymore, and when she asked why, I said ballet teachers have the worst posture and I don't want to have a bent back. The real issue was that back then I was making sure to pray to God every night that if He would make me a real boy I would never do anything bad again in my life. I believed He was testing me. (Ballet was a "girl thing" and my mom was always trying to push me into "girl things" like ballet, being a stewardess, a nurse, playing with dolls etc)