In my personal experience and the experience of friends, it's not usually the guest who feels butt hurt. They may feel guilty. They may regret not being able to go. Usually, in fact, it's the happy couple . . . or one of them . . . who gets be upset when someone important to them cannot attend.
I have seen a lot of that. The wedding plans make it damned difficult for some people to attend -- those with kids, older or disabled people (my friends who had the wedding in the woods), or people with limited incomes (happens a lot).
Then when someone expresses their regrets, there is drama.
My opinion is that if you TRULY want people to attend your wedding, don't make it so damned hard. People do that alot. Have the wedding of your dreams, but if being there involves hardship for some of your guests, at least be understanding when they can't make it.
My cousin's son just got married, and they were incredibly gracious and helpful and had a lovely wedding. It can be done.
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