[Corkey]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I'm not exactly sure why it makes you feel anxious when he calls you that. Perhaps because that doesn't totally fit you and so it doesn't "feel right"? You need to listen to your discomfort and gut response.

I think it is important you don't jump to conclusions about yourself and ask that others don't also. There are lots of people that do not fit in the binary. This is one of the first things I say to clients when I first start working with them. People can come to therapy in angst feeling like they must choose. You don't have to choose. You may be neither. You also may be male or female (the opposite of your assigned birth gender), but it may not suit you to "transition". It is important that people do not see the whole process as linear.

A FTM may decide to not go on hormones. A female bodied person who defines as a female, but who is masculine identified, may decide to go on hormones. A butch may get top surgery, but not define as trans in the slightest.

I guess what I am trying to say is that there are variations of gender. Allow yourself to try ALL of them on.

/rambling pontificating

Precisely why I find the binary to be flawed. Humans are complicated creatures and no one human is going to be just like another. We all grow into our skin differently. Which is why I prefer the circle where we all come from and return to. The binary is too constrained to hold the vast array of human nature.