[Soft*Silver]

My style is not to ask the guy out. Instead, I might offer him a reason to come over. Maybe my light bulb needs changing in my overhead light. Don't laugh! I really cant do that on my own because I cant climb on step stools...I get quite dizzy. Or could he take down my storm windows? For his kindness I would insist upon making him dinner..his choice, whatever is his favorite meal. Or, maybe I would ask his opinion on something..like what kind of car tires I should buy or what computer system would be best for me. I might ask him to come along.... my purpose is t fohreeld: One: I must truly need these things so his help would indeed be beneficial to me and Two: it opens the door for him to consider spending more time with me if he so is inclined to want this and Three: Doing something small and industrial together gives me time to spend with him without the stress of it being a date. I get nervous on dates sometimes, so this helps.

ok...here is another question. Most of my family and friends know I am a lesbian. (Or something, not just conformingly straight.) So when i am out with a guy who happens to be FtM, and I run into someone, sometimes they are a bit shocked. Later they will ask me why I am dating a guy. And this puts me in a unusual quandry. The FtMs I have dated do not want to pass as men. They ARE men. Its not my place to explain his experience. Have you encountered this? How did you handle it? In my situations, I have just shrugged it off and said I am what I am no matter who I am with. In other words, I kept the focus on me and not on my date.